All great journeys start with one simple stride, except in the modern day. Now, some of them start with a keystroke.

Because I have too much free time and have had a bunch of people tell me I should, I’m going to start blogging.  I hate that term, blog, but the weight of words is only what we give them.  I’ll refer to myself as an essayist to sound more refined but in reality I am aware that I’m a guy at a keyboard, not Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I’m one of those people who can’t turn off their thoughts without the aid of drugs and alcohol.  Since I’m getting older, that happens less frequently and with bigger hangovers.  So I figured, why not share with the internet a glimpse of what’s running through my head?  Some entries may be long, wordy diatribes about the trivial stuff in life.  They might be concise, poignant responses to a social phenomenon.  Or maybe just a picture of a cat.  Okay, probably not that last one, but I don’t want to pigeonhole myself into a single format.  I’m going to kick off this endeavor with a fake question and answer post because talking to yourself is normal, right?

“Foley, the web is full of lunatics spouting off about the mundane things that happen to them.  How is yours going to be any better?”

It probably won’t, but I can use the word fuck pretty eloquently.  So there’s a chance it could be entertaining.

“To call you brash might be an understatement, sometimes you are downright offensive.  Aren't you worried you will offend people?”

I thought that was what the internet was for?  If I offend you…good.  It means you have a pulse.

“What’s your focus?  Are your posts going to have a theme or underlying message?”

Read the URL, the focus is me and the world around me.

“That’s a little egocentric, isn't it?”

That’s a lot egocentric.  But I like to think it’s a better outlet than posting a million selfies up on social media.

“So this is going to be a masturbatory exercise in writing about yourself?”

Well…yeah.  We live in a world where twitter, instagram, and facebook have become a constant exercise of self-love.  This way my thoughts aren't arrested to 140 characters, a 612x612 image, or fishing for likes.  While I will tend to be the center of my writing, because I won’t pretend to know what it is to be someone else, it will be more about the world and how I see it.  I have a bias and my hope isn't to change your mind, it is to get you thinking.

 “I have some good ideas for things you can write about, should I let you know?”

YES!  Nothing is off limits.  Except Terry Schiavo, that’s a dead topic.  If you are a little shy or think that your topic is embarrassing, send me a private message.  I won’t use your name if you spill the beans about your experimentation with anal play.  But I bet you aren't the only person wondering: is one finger enough?  People go through such a wide variety of experiences, you can bet the obscure situations you find yourself in, aren't unique to you, and that’s a good thing.  So I really, truly want to hear your suggestions because I’m a student of people and the world. (But mostly it can be tough to come up with material)

“What if I notice you used a comma when you should have used a semi-colon?”

Eat shit; I’m the ee cummings of blogging.

I hope you get a sense of what I’m going for: a slightly narcissistic Bill Simmons, whose articles don’t drag on like SNL sketches.  If you don’t get a reference or a name, just fucking Google it and learn something new.  Eventually I’ll learn how turn words into links, insert pictures, and add footnotes, but I’d rather know someone is reading this before I go through the trouble.

Love it or hate it, you just read it.